Like Sand Through The Hourglass

I Can't Recall

Time has really slipped away from me, I'm having so many Hillary Clinton moments, I can't recall ...  July was another medical month, the calendar was filled with appointments, tests, evaluations, the weekend of the Fourth seemed to be the best time to get away, Conner, Janna, Colleen and Edward all had the time, so I rented a house near Lighthouse Point in Santa Cruz for a week.  All the appliances in the place were new, we had to study the manuals, a lot of thought had gone into the design, it was definitely a vacation home.  The weather was off and on again sunny and overcast.

Jack

The big hit for me was taking a surfing lesson with Janna and Conner, it was the only time I went in the water.  Conner reserved a time for us and we caught a few waves at Pleasure Point, right below Jack O'Neill's house where Colleen and Jackie watched from the rocks we were crashing on.  I didn't know paddling a board could be so exhausting, but there was some place I went in my mind where nothing else existed, it was like totally clarifying Dude.

I was still trying to find a sunny getaway after we came back from there, in spite of everybody that kept suggesting we take a cruise to Alaska.  As soon as people go on a cruise they start telling you you HAVE to do it, they get really annoying about that.  Every time I checked the weather at all the ports up there, my phone showed a really depressing drippy cold screen shot.  I was planning the next stage of summer, a trip to Colorado Springs so Jackie took care of the details and rented a condo in Dana Point and we drove down there to The Real OC.  I couldn't get my directions right down there, it was like a magnetic pole shift in my brain, I always made the wrong turn.

The area between Laguna Beach and San Juan Capistrano is all gated communities, and everything has a Spanish name, but the names sound made up by a non Spanish speaker.  We saw some old friends, had a little dinner party with some Marine buddies from Vietnam, went to three beaches, the water was warmer but the surf was rough.

Ruby's Shake Shack

We had lunch at Crystal Cove, on the coast between Newport and Laguna, part of it still looks like that trailer park that Jim Rockford lived in on 'The Rockford Files'.  The Shake Shack we knew back in 1970, where we got date shakes, a quick ride from Orange Coast Community College (OCC) where we first met, is now part of a chain, but everything is still good.  The condo was OK, really cheap, there was a minor problem and the owner refunded the cleaning fee and promised us a couple free nights if we stay again. PCH between Laguna and Newport is dazzling, world class opulence, perfect looking people, The Real OC.

Pike's Peak

Road to the Wedding Venue

The first weekend in August Jackie and I accompanied her Mom to Colorado Springs for the wedding of Andrea Lee and Kevin Garcia. Never been there, beautiful place, high mountains and meadows, I felt like I could see for miles and miles. Andrea is the daughter of Giselle and Terry Lee, Terry is Jackie's brother and kidney donor and the groom Kevin is a former Marine, need I say more ?  Before we left Jackie went to Kaiser to learn the results of her latest round of tests.  Jackie's appointment was at Kaiser Hospital and the same Doctor from UCSF that told us two years ago that Jackie would die without a transplant was now telling us that she was normal !  The Doctor could hardly believe it, she doesn't always get to say that, Great News !

Garden of the Gods

So we went to Colorado and it was a beautiful ceremony and reception on a real ranch, The Younger Ranch , and Giselle and Terry asked me to walk Jackie's Mom down the aisle, which was really a kind of trail since we were out in the open.  Wow, what a privilege to be included in the wedding party.  Jackie is such a humble person, she wore her dark glasses and tried to stay in the back, she didn't want to distract attention from Andrea, the Bride, who was radiant. While we were there we went to The Garden Of The Gods, an unusual upthrust of interesting red rock formations.

We got home late Monday night, 8 August, Jackie had to start school the next morning, I had to unpack and repack because early on the morning of the 10th I left for Hawaii.  I went to Waimanalo on the windward side of Oahu to house sit and walk Sophie the Dog.  While I was gone Colleen and Edward pitched in to give Jackie any kind of help she needed, Teacher's Aides they were.  I only stayed two weeks, I got back on the 25th and jumped in the driver's seat for whatever curves the road of life was going to throw at us.  There were a few nights during this time when I woke up and had no idea where I was or why.

Napa Valley

Parker Guest House

In the middle of September Rachel Michelle Lauber, Terry's youngest daughter, came to stay with Grandma in Sacramento and her husband Luke arrived a little while later.  They started to adventure around Northern California, going up to the Napa Valley for some world class

Westfield Escalator- Nordstrom's

S.P. Taylor Redwoods

terroir and all that goes with that fabulous wine growing region. They came down to San Francisco where I was able to point out a few places of interest, driving them around better than Uber or Lyft.  The next day we rode up to Pt. Reyes by way of The Westfield Center, Chinatown, North Beach, The Presidio and Samuel P. Taylor Park where we all took a breath of redwood tree infused air in the silence of those giants.  A brief stop in Olema and we were on the road to the Pt. Reyes Lighthouse.  Wow, fog blowing about 40 mph, 600 feet down a razor ridge to the ocean, one side crashing surf, one side flat calm, and a deep sapphire blue and deer everywhere, I won't soon forget that ride or place, first time for me.  One thing is for sure, it was a family summer, Jackie's Family, Terry's Family, Our Family and all the invisible lines of relationship that stretch back to many lands and ancient times that weave the net that contains our fullness of joy of life and being here with each other.

Viva Las Vegas !

Now it's fall and raining and I've been remiss in tracking Jackie's progress since springtime.  Each day is noteworthy even though there's little ongoing drama, and at the same time I have been withdrawing from any kind of public presence, growing more protective and defensive, and while I don't wish to deny Jackie's family and her close circle of friends any satisfaction of concern, it's difficult to compartmentalize the need for privacy I feel.  Anything within my shadow feels too personal to expose, and it's only in the sunshine of her love that I'm able to see into the light. Cream - The Sunshine Of Your Love

Jackie's birthday was October the 6th, and since this is the first year of her new life with Terry's kidney, I bought her a Minnie Mouse 'Look Who's One !' birthday card with a surprise cupcake inside.  I bought three fancy cupcakes at Noe Valley Bakery so when Conner stopped by unexpectedly, we all had a cupcake - chocolate, lemon and red velvet, the red velvet we saved for Colleen.  Colleen and Edward stopped by over the weekend, but SURPRISE ! we weren't there, we were in Vegas, Baby !  They knew, they stopped by to give Nino some food and emotional support.


You're all world travelers so I'm not gonna try to school you on the logistics and mechanics of it all, reservations, ticketing, airport transportation, parking.  But I took someone's advice and joined a loyalty club for a major car rental company, including the 'skip the counter' option, which involves filing credit card info with them, excellent advice ! We were hardly awake during the 7:20 flight and barely stumbled into the bright light of the McCarran desert terminal, and after deplaning, rest stops, the van ride to the rental center and all, we walked right through to pick any car in the row while our fellow travelers stood in line and waited for the desk.

The hotel was a dream, The Mandarin Oriental , 'the only Forbes triple five-star luxury hotel at the heart of The Strip'.  There's a kind of giant cul-de-sac where the Mandarin, Aria, Cosmopolitan, Vdara and Hotel 32 all sit, flanked by this futuristic mall, The Shops At Crystals , with every designer name you can think of.  The Mandarin has no casino, is non smoking and the tiny ground floor entrance lobby fronted by the valet parking court has a small bell desk, some art and furniture and an elevator that only takes you to the third and twenty third floors where you are greeted by staff and your stay begins.  It reminded me of this Chinese puzzle box I had as a kid, hard to get into, hard to figure out but so satisfying once I did.

Everywhere you go there are staff waiting to help you, if you call the desk someone appears at your door in a minute. When you leave your room people come in and put everything back in order, if you go out again, they come back and leave you bottles of water, put your stuff away for you, put rose petals and fresh towels on the tub.  Mention something you would like to do and they are getting you tickets.   Jackie said it's like they can read your mind and think ahead.

I carried a can of Coor's Light out to the pool, and the pleasant young lady reminded me that only drinks purchased at the hotel were allowed, so I handed it over and while she found me and Jackie some poolside chaise lounges and arranged the towels a young man appeared with a cup of beer, the Coor's Light !  They are right there to get you a drink, move you into a sunnier spot, or open an umbrella if you want shade.  I ordered a couple of those frou-frou cocktails while we were there and some shrimp tacos, Jackie said it's like they can read your mind and think ahead.


All that sophistication but wouldn't you know it, we wound up acting like dam tourists - at the Hoover Dam !  If you don't believe in American Exceptionalism, you will after that dam tour !  Built at the same time as the Golden Gate Bridge, not by private money however, it was a WPA effort that was completed in 5 years.  A dam elevator took 70 seconds to drop us down 530 feet and the dam tour guide walked us through one of the dam diversion tunnels and we exited onto a plaza above the dam generators. The iron work up above the generators looked a lot like the underside of the Golden Gate Bridge.

Jackie wondered if the dam was generating any power because we could only see one tiny outflow into the river releasing what seemed to us from our height an insignificant stream of water.  Looking at all the water backed up in Lake Mead, and that huge monstrous obstruction in front of it with just that tiny outflow all the way at the bottom, all I could think of was what a magnificent illustration of the problem of an enlarged prostate, and I started looking for that dam restroom !  You can drive and walk over the dam now and there's a really cool bridge you can walk out on.  At a dizzying height above the canyon and a little bit downstream soars the Mike O'Callaghan Pat Tillman Memorial Bridge, quite a view.

We walked our feet off at the dam and then on The Strip.  It started getting to be time for Jackie to eat, and we're in restaurant heaven, and she says... "I want a hot dog."  "Where Oh Lord where will I find one honest hot dog in this wicked city ?" He said.  We happened to be in Caesar's palace and there's an outdoor court that has a walk up window restaurant called Serendipity 3 and they had a foot long hot dog.  It was grilled individually and was on a perfectly toasted fresh bread roll and as long as my arm and really big around, perfectly juicy and crunchy.  I bit a small piece of one end and Jackie demolished it, she really wanted a hot dog.

Back at The Mandarin, we took turns soaking in this huge free standing tub with bath salts and my feet felt brand new.  The next morning we chose the a la carte menu at Chez Mac and went to the pool and gym, detailed above.  We looked at the breakfast buffet at The Aria, it looked great but at the time there was an hour and a half wait.  We returned later in the afternoon and no one was in line so we took our table and did our best, it was great.

The next day checking out the Concierge started talking to me and I mentioned the Neon Museum, a junkyard really, of all the old Las Vegas signs, wonderfully cared for, some restored and in working order. In a few breaths she produced discount tickets for the 2:00 pm tour.  Sure enough when we got there the place was sold out.  On the way we stopped at the World Famous Gold & Silver Pawn Shop - Pawn Stars.  A little disappointing and in the skankiest part of town, but I bought this and the small necklace was free (nothing's free).  Right next to the parking lot was Rick's Rollin Smoke BBQ & Tavern, "Put Some South In Your Mouth" so we had lunch before venturing onto the Neon Boneyard.

That's about it, Folks, thanks for listening.  Oh, I think Jackie thinks she's back in the hotel, she just ordered a turkey and cheese sandwich for tomorrow, and asked me to warm up her coffee !

Reeling In The Years, well, the months anyway.

If you asked me my favorite place I'd probably say Santa Cruz, Jackie likes it too and we go there often, I'd live there if I could, but we usually drive down early and drive home late.  Jackie's schedule allowed us a long weekend around our wedding anniversary, so I found a place to stay and we tried to blend in.  We stayed two nights, very relaxing not to have to drive home after being there all day.  This place is billed as the 'Swanky West Side Studio By The Beach'.  A bunch of artists live in the main part of the house, the place has fine art objects instead of the usual household stuff, and the yard has a sort of arrested decay garden party arrangement of antiques and vintage furniture, even an arbor with an old tub and a table with a sea lion skeleton.  I can't find the pictures.

I mentioned we went up to stay with Jackie's Mom, that's always interesting and fun, Jackie took her Mom shopping, she needed to put together an outfit for Andrea's wedding that was coming up in August. I think it's really important for a Mom to have a daughter at those times.  Somebody has to help out Mom make those decisions on pants tops and shoes, even go into the dressing room, and who knows better than her daughter ?  I don't go shopping very much, hardly at all, almost never. it makes me nervous. Even going into Safeway can bring on a panic attack, even though I have my Just4U thing all figgered out ahead of time, MyList and everything, I forget something, sometimes it's the very thing I went in for, or I miss a great deal, like 2 for 1 Nathan's hotdogs for $5.00 and I'll just buy the one pack.

So I hate shopping so Jackie never takes me, but I like fashion and she goes with me to the shows at the De Young.  We saw the Oscar de la Renta show twice, the first time I got a visual migraine as soon as we stepped in, so we went again.  The show was open through the Memorial Day weekend.  For some reason both of us had a lot of appointments in May, crowding things in before the start of summer I guess, the school year continued into June anyway and then Jackie participated in an program given by the Academy of Science for science teachers, challenging them to look at problems differently.  They had a really good field trip about water, the ocean, acidity and all that and went to Hog Island Oyster Company on Tomales Bay and she brought back some and I had to admit they might have been the best oysters I ever had.

Time Warp - Jackie Science

Still filling in the missing blocks of time, trying to put things in sequence and not succeeding, somehow my personal timeline slipped away, like putting down your fishing rod, opening the bail and letting a fish pull off all the line.  Just imagine this is last spring time and Jackie is involving the kids in science experiments, they love it and go back to their rooms full of scientific enthusiasm the teachers welcome.  Jackie encourages the kids and the teachers responded by ordering and building their own science kits.  She produced a Science fair with the teachers and kids and it was a big hit !

Jackie uses all kind of things you can find at home like plastic bottles, straws, vinegar, baking soda, and salt, and she bought flowers, vegetable seeds and meal worms.  Jackie's experiments tackles the basics of physical and biological sciences and demonstrates the everyday principles and results of science bringing the abstract into the real.  Everybody loves her efforts but the district couldn't fund a part time science position for the next academic year, but she kept it going right up to the end of the year.

Jackie created her own half time schedule which required her to work a full Monday, and Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday afternoons and allowed her Fridays off, which is a great schedule if you think about it, because all the holidays fall on Monday, so that allows for a paid four day weekend.  I was doing the driving which helped ease her re-entry into the work world, very limited parking over by her school, and the street cleaning days make it difficult for teachers to get there early

enough and still secure a parking space.  Even with her blue handicap placard the locals would call the cops to ticket a car if it was inches into their driveway, and they did, a $110 fine, or even have it towed, and they know the cars are the teachers'.

What's for lunch Dad ?

I tried to keep the house in order, shopping, cooking, bills, laundry, cleaning, all that stuff, can't say it was a lot of fun, a woman's work is never done.  The whole idea (for a teacher) is to live a normal, full, independent meaningful life, is that enough adjectives ?  So I have become a domestic god.  All I know is me and the cat have become the best of friends.  I spent a lot of time organizing boxes of bags and bags of bags in the garage, went to the gym, swam a lot of laps, listened to Rush,  read everything on The Drudge Report, took a lot of rides on my motorcycle, drank a lot of caffeinated beverages and the occasional adult beverage.  I had plenty of time to meet all my varied social obligations, business meetings, personal engagements and health and welfare appointments and still had time to watch Wendy Williams "How ya doin'?" and endless Castle episodes.

Paradise Point

Filling in some of the blank months, Jackie has all the legal holidays off so we broke away to San Diego on the Presidents' Day weekend in February, it was also Chinese New Year.  Conner and Janna invited us to join them in San Diego and met us at the airport in a huge SUV, it helps to pull up to the resort lobby looking like a Presidential candidate, especially when you arrive late, and your savvy son has already convinced the Desk to comp you a breakfast at the bayside Barefoot Bar&Grill that we missed but applied to lunch anyway based on said savvy son's rico suave, and comping the parking fee too.  

We stayed at Paradise Point, a tropical themed island resort in Mission Bay that has individual bungalows, rambles around five pools, lagoons and the bay, and includes that breakfast I mentioned and Sea World tickets, of which we really made use.  I liked the idea of individual bungalows rather than a high rise room.  I made like Burt Lancaster in the movie 'The Swimmer' and swam my way through the pools around the resort.  Conner and Janna wanted to go to Sea world and see Shamu and the Killer Whale Show before they retired that magnificent beast.  

So, we went to Sea World, Belmont Park, Old Town, the Gaslight District, we ate street food and at The Fish Market Restaurant, just like there is in San Mateo, we   really liked the city. Their Embarcadero is very wide and clean, has generous sidewalks and walking spaces, features free parking and a fantastic Maritime Museum, including the USS Midway. 

We drove out Point Loma to the Cabrillo National Monument, you can see all the way to the border and beyond.  I must have enjoyed myself on this trip, there's 54 pics on FB in this Paradise Point album.  Point Loma - Cabrillo  There may be included there fotos of aquatic mammals and other creatures enjoying the company of terrestrial beings. If this offends you then take off your underwear, turn it around and pull it over your head, breathe deeply 3-4-15-20 times, om-om-om, you'll feel much better. No military hardware was harmed during the taking of these pictures.

The Biopsy

Sean Dana Photography - UCSF from Mt. Parnassus

Twelve hours, half a day, bright morning to misty night, lights on, empty parking lot, lonely dropoffs, UCSF does a good job at sticking to the schedule. They told Jackie to check in by 11:00 am and she could go home by 11:00 pm.  Our parking receipt says we parked yesterday morning at 10:14 am and we paid our handicapped patient parking fee of $6.00 at 22:31 hours last night, twenty nine minutes ahead of schedule.  The surgeons do their best work 9 to 5, it's probably written into their contract, you'll be out of here every night in time for dinner, a game of racquetball or whatever it is that you want to do do after executing the will of God and returning the living to their waiting loved ones.

Reapers Waiting Room - Dark Art

A very efficient and exacting operation, someone in the Administration must know how lonely it is to be the only person in the Family Surgical Waiting Lounge after midnight when the tiredness starts to win out over the anxiety and darkness takes over and you fall asleep with your head on your hand, dream crazy dreams and wake up numb and in pain and you still don't know anything.  It was different yesterday than it was nine months ago on August 14, 2015 after the surgeons transplanted Terry's kidney into Jackey's abdomen and Jackie was bleeding uncontrollably into the small hours and they kicked me out of the recovery room while they tried to stop it. After a couple hours and three transfusions they wheeled her back into her room and the real recovery began.

After checking in they had to test Jackie to make sure she was ready for the biopsy of Terry's kidney. It was just a prep ward, very little privacy, a gentleman checked in so I left Jackie and the other patients to their privacy and care of the staff.  I walked down to the Botanical Garden in GG Park, took a lot of pictures of the spring flowers you can see on my FB page , walked around for a few hours, bought a bouquet of cut irises after looking at so many and climbed back up Parnassus thinking it would be over.  Well, nothing happened, Jackie was ready to go home when the Nurse told her she passed on her third test and she would be going to have the biopsy now.  So I went to the Palio Paninoteca across the street for a coffee, walked to my car and fell asleep.

I walked back up about 6 pm and the ward was empty, kind of an alien abduction moment in my post car nap partial consciousness, but they had transferred Jackie to a private room and it was all done.  She told me they had no less than five Doctors and a Technician during the procedure. They gave her a pill early on to relax her and the anesthesia for the biopsy but she was awake and told me all about it. She felt the anesthesia needles but that was all.


They use a needle gun that shoots into the kidney and retracts with a tissue sample for analysis.  So we watched some TV, Jackie had a dinner, took a nap and we went home, all on schedule.  Today Dr. Shoji (?) called, in less than a minute she told Jackie her kidney was completely normal !  I don't know about you, but being normal has always been a major goal in my life. This procedure was supposed to be done three months after the transplant but because Jackie was on some medication the hospital had to delay it until now, when she quit taking that medicine, so it's a long delayed milestone and a relief that everything is ok.

Jackie is still working half time as the Science Resource Teacher at her school, for spring vacation she wanted to go up and see her Mom.  We had an unexpected and fun trip to Lake Tahoe, been a long time since we were there.  The Nevada side is so beautiful, stopped at a small cafe over there on the way around the lake on our return trip.  Drove a lot of miles but it's always worth it to get up to the Sacramento homestead and cook a bunch of food and have a family dinner.  Check out my Facebook page if you're interested in some of those leisure activities.  https://www.facebook.com/DaveEEo.